Fin

Post arrest/bribe it was time to put our stay in Moldova to an end.

We visited the sushi restaurant below our apartment, eating a few bites under the soft TV glow of Russian music videos (read: dancing strippers in prison settings). We packed up a few things but having our Russian palates wetted we set out to experience the culture first hand. The Russian part that is, not the prison stripper aspect.

Transnistria is a small break away republic of Moldova. It separated from Moldova in the early 90s and aligned itself with Russia. Apparently missing the fall of the Soviet empire, Transnistria is holding onto the glory days and Russia is happy to keep them believing that the CCCP is alive and well. Located squarely between Ukraine and Moldova, Russia still hosts military forces there and considering the then-nascent now un-nascent conflict between Russia and the Ukraine we were a little worried about how a few Americans would be received.

Our AirBnB host, Roman, offered to drive us there and show us around a bit for a nominal fee (no sarcasm, I think he was doing it more out of desire to show us an interesting afternoon than in turning a profit) and one of our new Moldovan friends came along as well. The drive was only about 30 minutes to the border, but yet again border crossing proved complicated. The Russians institute a very rigid control process at the border, complete with multiple forms of short term visas and fees. Forms were handwritten, had to be completed in red ink only, and were entered into a database at the pace of a blind man sorting colored river rocks. The hammer and sickle on all forms was nostalgic for the two sons of the Cold War that are Javier and I. Even though Russia glasnosted and perestroikaed, Transnistria is keeping the Stalinist Soviet theme going.

Once in Transnistria we had to exchange Moldovan lei for Transnistrian rubles. We did this at the local Sheriff station, which was across the street from the Sheriff soccer stadium and next to the Sheriff liquor store. The state run business system runs everything under the name “Sheriff” which is inexplicably in English and accompanied by a Wyatt Earp style badge trademark. We then proceeded to an old fort (the Ceteatea Tigina) in Bender, a town straddling a river that creates a semi-formal border with Moldova.

The fort overlooks a Russian tank park, and though it looked passive in March the slight buzz of activity within was foreboding. After touring the fort, which we entered by passing a 100 foot stone bas-relief of a Soviet soldier doing an Egyptian dance move (at least that’s what it looked like to me), we headed into the formal city of Tiraspol the capital.

The streets were eerily empty, though impeccably clean, and dotted occasionally with tanks underneath camouflage netting. Our first stop was a war memorial for the war with Moldova. The memorial, very aesthetically pleasing for a memorial including some graves for Russian soldiers, was across from the main administration building. Roman told us photos of the building itself was forbidden, but the statue of Lenin in front could be photographed. I couldn’t decipher how we were supposed to take a photo of the statue without including the building in the background. Javier didn’t try to decipher and just took photos at will. No secret police appeared to enforce Roman’s Rule.

After the memorial we attempted to go to a tasting at KVINT winery but it was closed. Or perhaps more accurately, it was closed to foreigners. We couldn’t actually figure out why we weren’t allowed in but it was insinuated that if we were Transnitrian we would not have the same problem. Instead we drove around to see more Soviet-worship statues and then get dinner.

We opted for Pyatnits Café, although Kumanek was recommended to us by friends back in Moldova. I don’t know if Roman vetoed Kumanek or if the KVINT style restriction would have applied there as well but as we were both hungry and clueless we didn’t really have a reason to object. Reasons to object presented themselves soon enough.

The café was at about 25% capacity, and the diner-esqe interior was complemented by Valentine’s Day cut out hearts hanging from the ceiling. We ordered some beers, and once those came out we ordered some food. The menu was huge and after trying to decide “What dish exemplifies Transnistria,” we settled on just some chicken and mushroom options. Javier of course wanted a steak.

After about 30 minutes of waiting and getting a second round of drinks – KVINT wines this time – a dish was brought out. One dish. Roman’s dish. The waiter vanished after that. We told Roman to start eating while it was warm. Roman ate his dish completely, and when the waiter collected his plate he brought out Javier’s dish. He waited until Javier finished eating until he brought out mine. Really weird because it’s not like the place was busy; Roman joked they cooked on a hot plate and could only do one dish at a time. If nothing else, we had some KVINT wine that was very similar to the Moldovan wines but at least we could say we had a Soviet version.

We went back to Moldova after that and though we weren’t hungry we had heard about a restaurant in Chisinau that served traditional meals and excellent lamb so we decided to head there for dinner part two. The name is Popasul Dacilor, set in a hunting lodge style building. The interior is decorated with paintings, historical furniture, and in all reminded me of an Orvis lodge that was hosting a consignment sale. We ordered a few dishes but after tasting the lamp chops ordered extra. They were simply amazing and it was probably the best meal we had, though Chateau Vartely was pretty damn good too.

From there Javier wanted to go wine shopping and despite the late hour we went to Carpe Diem wine shop. They were closed, but the owner was still on site and let us in to talk about his collection and after Javier sweet talked him allowed him to by about a dozen bottles. Now overloaded with wine bottles we started walking back to our apartment, taking a route through Embassy row to see the various state buildings. The US Embassy was naturally the best looking one. The British Embassy was very modern looking and objectively probably a nicer building architecturally but clashed in the surrounding neighborhood.

In all, it was a great way to spend the last night – rich Moldovan food, some more wine education, and walking through parks along Embassy row.

The next morning we just packed up, Javier overloading his bag with the wine bottles of the previous evening while assuring me “It’s ok, my mileage program gives me unlimited weight.” Once at the airport, this wasn’t true and I had to spread the weight into my suitcase. Small price to pay for travelling with Javier as once we got to Munich for our layover his mileage program did get us into the Senator’s lounge where we could access unlimited Weissbier, knockwurst, goulash, and pretzels.

So eastern Europe was at times bewildering and backward, but incredibly fun with amazing food and wine. Culture shock occurred, and we couldn’t quite crack the code on how the whole area was both inviting and yet somehow closed off. It wasn’t worth trying to crack the code anyway: the people were great, whether sympathetic border guards or Romanian museum operators or backgammoning restauranteurs or even Moby’s brother…they all made a great impression on this Adventure Moose.

A highlight reel:
Chisinau:
Chateau Vartely – we didn’t make it to Cricova which is also very popular
Pub 513
Propaganda restaurant
City Club
Carpe Diem wine shop
Popasul Dacilor restaurant
Andy’s Pizza (I mean, how can you not?)

Transistria for general reminder how the Soviet system works, KVINT winery if you can get in

Bran, Romania:
Castle Bran
Casa din Bran hotel
Burg restaurant (backgammon George’s place)
*If you have time, nearby city of Brasov looked fun as well and Brasov Castle also looked fun for touring

Bucharest, Romania:
Doubletree hotel (cheap, nice, great location which is the most important feature for Bucharest)
Caru cu Bere restaurant - get sausages and the brandy donuts
Visit the expat district near Caru Cu Bere
Walk the canal, hitting up the city library and the Parliament building and just anything else around there.

Odessa, Ukraine:
Odessa National Academic Theater (treat this as a reference point for the area you want to be in, if you can go inside for a show – even better!)
Restaurants along Katerynyns’ka St are awesome, and the architecture of this neighbor in general is gorgeous, make sure to visit the nearby “boardwalk” paralleling the port
Di Alpino coffee shop serves the best espresso I’ve ever had